Annoying ex-girlfriend? How to deal with it…

Recently I broke up with my girlfriend. The simple truth is that I didn’t love her anymore. I hadn’t loved her for a while. I’ve tried to rekindle the love. But the feeling was gone. Plain and simple. So after a while I decided it was time to move on and I broke up with her.

I sent her on her way after some talking and discussion about the why and how and a few more times the why. Filipinas love drama. Anyway, she left the next morning in a defeated mood and went back home. We had the notion of staying friends, which was fine with me, and I thought that was that.

In the past few weeks she’s on and off pestering me everywhere she can. And she’s being a right bitch about just about everything in every way she can. Facts twisted, truths twisted, memories ruined. I’m made out to be the bad guy and everything I ever did for her seems to have been a wasted effort.

Maybe that’s her way of dealing with things? I don’t know, and honestly I don’t care. But go bother someone else, please?

She’s obviously bitter or angry. Maybe even sad. I sort of get that. But come on – Be mature about it and try to move on. She could get a job, or do something useful with her time instead of wasting it on pestering the ex-boyfriend with bullshit and an attempted guilt trip. It’s merely annoying and resulted in me blocking her everywhere I can.

So; blocked on Facebook, Facebook chat and banned from my Facebook page. Muted and ignored on WhatsApp. SMS/txt messages and phone calls are set to be silent and ignored. Removed from Instagram. I made a rule in my email to delete her emails should she send any.

But it doesn’t end there… Now she found my old dating site profile, which I’m no longer using and she can see that it’s been inactive. But she sent me a message there anyway. How bored can a person be to make it their mission to find any and every angle to try and annoy me?

Her last sms sent recently (before I set that to ignore, too) said so much as that she could do without me just fine –

Then why don’t you? Get a life!

So that’s the current situation. What to do about such a girl? Ignore, ignore ignore and then ignore it some more. There really is no sensible argument that will fix any of it. But I’m so tempted every time to “defend” myself or set the record straight, but I’ll only make it worse once I bite. So I don’t.

Ignore, block and spam everything and maybe some day she’ll give up… πŸ™ *sigh*

Am I safe in the Philippines?

That’s something of a hot item lately. With the Bohol shooting. The angry horde from the south. A violent war on drugs. Philippine traffic… Considering that, I’m probably not particularly safe – But the same is true anywhere in the world.

Am I scared for that? No, not at all. I live here, I like it here, I carry a knife with me at all times, I’m having fun most of the time. I did pretty much the same in Holland. Except I didn’t like it there very much.

So, should you cancel your vacation plans? No, not at all. The government seemingly tries very hard to contain things. Most incidents are just that, incidents. And the press should stop fear-mongering.

Imma be famous!

Last week domain.me publishing contacted me with a request for a interview and a bunch of questions to answer for an article they were writing about Digital Nomads and Entrepreneurs in general. Somehow they thought I was interesting enough to be featured – yay!

This week they’ve published it!

There are many people that lead similar lifestyles as me, but no one has the same experience as me, even if they’re also digital nomads. This adds a feeling of uniqueness to my life like never before.

Read all about it on their blog. It’ll be the best thing you read all day!
https://domain.me/arnan-de-gans-everything-but-a-mainstream-entrepreneur/

Follow my site (this one) for more updates and check out my social profiles, too.
Facebook, Instagram, WordPress and Twitter.

Imma be famous!

3 months minus 2 days

It’s been nearly 3 months since I arrived in the Philippines. The Netherlands seems like a vague and distant memory. Sort of like that dream you partly remember but never really think about until you see certain things that trigger a memory or thought.

arnan-rock-name

I don’t miss the Netherlands. Nor do I miss Europe and their bullshit problems. I catch up on the news from time to time. Every few weeks I glance at the ‘front page’ of a news site I used to frequent. I spot headlines like; “School buildings unacceptable”, “Germany lost hope for the EU”, “Immigrants are still coming”, “The economy is getting better but more and more businesses go bankrupt”. Sigh, what a load of bollocks. I don’t care for it anymore and reading those things only makes me annoyed or sad.

Things I’ll probably miss at some point

Changing country is no small feat. Since I’m going so far away it’s not really an option to go back for a short trip or whatever. I’m going to be more than 17000Km away in the Philippines after-all.

I’ve thought long and hard about what I would miss the most about the Netherlands. And I’ve come up with this; Kroketten!

broodje-kroket

I’ll probably think of something else once I ‘loose’ access to certain things. But for now, this is all I can think of.

One thing I won’t miss when leaving Europe

I won’t miss those lousy immigrants and all the buzz around it. I’m not against immigration. I’m against those that come here thinking that Europe will fix their lives. I’m against those who come here illegally. I’m tired of the train of thought of the people around me about the immigrant crisis. And I’m fed up with the stupid governments and local population siding with those criminals. That’s right, I said it.

That said, in a few weeks I’m an immigrant myself. And again, I have nothing against legitimate immigration. The huge difference between me and those coming to Europe is that I’m not a criminal. I consider myself a somewhat educated and smart person. I know there are certain rules and requirements. And as a result I have prepared my trip to the Philippines reasonably well.

I’ve saved up some money. Got a plane ticket. I have a visa. And that gives me the right to be in that country. If after a while the Philippines decides they don’t want me anymore, I’ll go someplace else.
At the same time, I’m not expecting a job, I don’t expect a house or any sort of special treatment. I won’t loiter around or use up millions of pesos in tax money either.

Desperation

They’re desperate to get a better life. So what? The streets are not paved with gold here. What are they expecting to find? Clearly they don’t read the papers… It’s certainly no reason to break just about every law and become a loitering criminal.

If you can pay a vague organisation several thousand dollars to ship you across the border you can also buy a proper plane or ferry ticket and apply for a visa the normal way. You know, like a sane person. Just follow procedure and wait your damn turn. If the country won’t let you in, either make a compelling appeal as to why you are valuable for the country. Or better yet, go back to where you came from and try to make it a better place there.

But no, instead they come here on a overloaded boat, stowed away in freighters or trucks. They break into compounds, trucks and yards, many carry knives as a weapon and cross the border illegally.

You know it’s a sad state if the bus driver has to reassure his passengers to not be scared. This was filmed recently in Calais, France.

And then some…

immigrants-calais immigrants-calais-2

I mean, what the hell France! Protect these streets!

When they finally ‘succeed’ they get free housing, food, healthcare and preferential treatment. Because they’re poor immigrants needing help? Criminals is what they are. And everything they get for free is all paid for with your tax money. Paid for by your local government, supported by the idiot population of Europe that believe that helping everyone is a duty.

Help yourself first

Why does Europe feel the need to help those people? We as a union have enough problems of our own. We don’t need a million plus people extra to take care of. I’d argue that until Europe sorts itself out there is no room for helping illegal immigrants.

You can’t provide them jobs if there aren’t enough jobs for your own people.
You can’t fix an economy by taking in people who don’t have money.
You can’t provider proper healthcare if you keep taking in people.
You can’t improve education levels by letting in more and more uneducated folks.

It just won’t work.

All you achieve by doing that is increase unemployment numbers, make the economy even less profitable and overload healthcare even further. And well, before the immigrants even start to comprehend our languages, culture and customs who are you kidding about education… Not to mention the millions of euros spent on them. That money is better spent elsewhere.

Immigrants in tents
No, this is not Africa. That’s near Calais, France. Where the Eurotunnel is. And there are tent camps all over Europe. Some inhabit thousands of illegal immigrants.

Earn your keep

The common person already living here; Dutch, Germans, French, Italians, Spanish, English (and whoever else…). They’re all getting screwed over. Most Europeans worked for their welfare benefits, healthcare and retirement funds. Most of us worked for what we have. Some of us saw it disappear are a supposed result of the economic crisis. Then some criminals walk across the border and get it all for free. How unfair and twisted is that.

Countries are going to shit because of this idiocy and apparently nobody in power seems to realise that keeping the illegal immigrants out is, for now, the only sensible solution.

Fixing Europe

I’m not sticking around for any fixes. I’ve had it. Goodwill, gone. Trust, long gone. I believe that before you can help others you need to have your own affairs in order. Especially if everything these illegals do costs us money. Tons of money. Millions! All that money should be spent for the benefit of Europeans by creating jobs. Stimulate economic growth. Or even to do stuff that allows governments to reduce taxes. Lower VAT, anyone? More bank interest? Yes, please! Better health insurance? Sure.

Governments should help their tax paying people. Those who worked all their life for what they have. Cut them some slack for once. But no, they rather waste their money on helping immigrants who have nothing to contribute.

Revisiting my birthplace

A little while ago I went on a small adventure, going back to my birthplace. As part of a goodbye thing from the Netherlands. But also to see how that felt. Oddly – it didn’t feel like much.
Obviously I have tons of history in that city. My first job, my first girlfriend, playgrounds, the school… My entire first 20 or so years of my life.

Going back

The city was more boring than I remembered. At first glance nothing had changed. Then the memories came back and all shops had been switched around. A bunch of buildings along routes I often took were gone or repurposed.

I went together with Jeanette And along the way we decided it would be fun to photograph every house I had lived in. So here goes.

1. I’m born in this one

I don’t remember this at all. But apparently I’m born in this house.
doorzwin29

2. Early youth

This one I do remember, I had most of the top floor for my legos and stuff. I used to play in the surrounding parks. I lived here for about 12 years.
doorzwin45

And I went to this middleschool. I nearly broke my jaw on the concrete sandbox in front πŸ™
school

3. Growing up

It being a smallish rental house, my room got a lot smaller. The city more within reach and I got my first real PC while living here. I started highschool during this period, too. We’ve lived here about 5 years.
clematisstraat

4. My first job

I got my first full-time job when I was 16, while living in this house. I again had most of the top floor. I also had my first real girlfriend while in this house. We’ve lived here for about 5 years. And I moved out with my mom and sister when my parents divorced.
middenweg

5. Moving on

After the divorce of my parents, me my mom and my sister moved to this house. We lived here, again, for about 5 years. I lost my job at some point, decided to go back to school. Got bored quickly and got a new job after a while.
sluisdijkstraat

6. New city

My sister moved out at some point, back to our dad. Me and my mom moved to another city with better opportunities for work and stuff. This, for me, meant a much shorter commute to Amsterdam, where I worked at the time. I now have my own business and work from home. We’re in this house for about 6 years now.
sintantoniusstraat

We visited a whole bunch of places, walked around the town and city. We took the bus everywhere and overall had a good time. But not having been there for years it also felt detached. I’m not going to miss that place, at all πŸ˜‰

Digital Nomad to be?

Apparently if you don’t have a place in your home country and kinda move around while working you’re no longer an Expatriate but a Digital Nomad.

Digital nomads are individuals who leverage telecommunications technologies to perform their work duties, and more generally conduct their lifestyle in a nomadic manner. – Wikipedia

Fine, but am I one too? Not yet for sure. But later? I’m not sure if I like the term. I consider myself a Freelancer, perhaps even a Entrepreneur. And soon a Digital Nomad too? I’m just Arnan, I have a laptop. And I (soon) happen to reside in a country other than my own from where I also do some work. Nomads live in tents and herd animals.

I guess I need to warm up to the idea. Perhaps I’ll change my mind later on or have some kind of insight I don’t have now. Maybe it’s useful For SEO purposes. Who knows. But now? I don’t really see it.